Cradle your baby with the arm that's on the same side as the breast your baby will be nursing from. In other words, bed-sharing is one way of co-sleeping. But the bottom line is that there are three people who should be guaranteed bonding time at and after delivery: you, your partner, and Baby J. It's that threesome that needs to meet, greet, and get to know each other first and foremost. Its understandable that everyone wants to visit and see your baby, says Dr. Schaffner. Have a parenting question youd like some other mums and dads to weigh in on? by Babymaker02. Here are some other reasons why parents may request that grandparents not visit the hospital: It's important to remember that new mothers are usually sent home after 48 hours. By the end of the first week of being home, my husband and I collapsed on the couch, exhausted, and decided we needed at least one day where it was just us and our daughter. Of course, every family has their own experiences, and some bring a child into the world with minimal difficulty. submissions or preferences. Catie. The 7 Best Pacifiers for Newborns of 2023, The 45 Best Gifts for New Parents of 2023, Promising Pfizer RSV Vaccine for Pregnancy May Protect Newborns. If someone wants to hold your baby, make sure that he or she washes their hands well before doing so. June 22, 2012 - heard the heartbeat 9w1d 181 BPM!! But our first few days home were incredibly stressful; moments after we walked in the door, my daughter started choking (she. 3. When parents ban grandparents from visiting, usually it is to allow the new family to bond without any complicating factors. My sister said I was being too much of a germaphobe, but I don't care. Irish sport images provided by Inpho Photography I just make people wash/santitize their hands first. Many times when I wanted to take her back people would tell me "but she's not crying." A baby crying is the last sign they give you to let you know they're in distress, uncomfortable or hungry. Those squishy little bodies. My sister-in-law (married to my brother-in-law) wouldn't let anyone hold the baby at the hostpital, no one just her and the father. Rest her head in the crook of your elbow, facing your breast, with her body turned inward toward you. They are going through a lot of changes. posts, comments and submissions available. Their feet should land on either side of your hand, angled closer to the ground so the baby is at a . Grandparents may not understand such decisions, but they should at least grant that the parents are acting out of the best of motives. I. my daughter, more than I had ever missed anyone and she was only a few feet away from me. By Susan Adcox 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved, Verywell Family uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. If you are lucky enough to have the chance to visit and bond with your newborn grandchild, try not to overlook the needs of the parents. Her Dr. actually told us to be paranoid b/c if a newborn gets a It's best to go ahead and do the tasks that you see that need doing, but use good judgment. In cases like this, it is best to have some rules in place for what is allowed when visitors are around your baby. 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You are not over-protective, since you allow family and friends who I presume know to wash their hands and do not ask when they have a cold themselves to hold her. PH: (01) 6489130, Lo-Call 1890 208 080 or email: info@presscouncil.ie. There are many new sling carriers for newborns that keep them close to you and make it nearly impossible, and also downright rude, for others to try sticking their hands into to touch your baby. 20002023 BabyCenter, LLC, a Ziff Davis company. And the funny thing? "Have a core set of helpers and visitors that you know are up to date on their protective vaccines," says Dr. Hasson. Ombudsman, and our staff operate within the Code of Practice. This week, one concerned first-time mum is wondering if she can say no to those wanting to hold her new arrival, or if refusing is just, well rude. Her work has been published in numerous magazines, newspapers, and websites, including Activity Connection,Glamour, PDX Parent, Self, TripSavvy,Marie Claire,and TimeOut NY. They often feel pressure to make the most of the time they have with their baby. Try not to expose your newborn (less than one month of age) to more people than necessary, and avoid all people with infectious diseases like colds and the flu! When I think about when I had my twin girls, it would have been extremely difficult . Feb 26, 2023 at 7:47 PM. Almost everyone wants to hold a new baby, but there are real concerns to keep in mind. Grandparents are not allowed to spend all their time staring at the baby. You can find out more about our use, change your default settings, and withdraw your consent at any time with effect for the future by visiting Cookies Settings, which can also be found in the footer of the site. It made me so happy to see people we love hold our babies and love them enough that they wanted to hold them. Lay your baby, stomach down, across your forearm with the head up toward your elbow. Just stayed silent. I was trying to do a million things at once: breastfeed, pump, care for a baby for the first time ever, take care of myself, sleep, eat, shower, complete the simple acts of sitting and walking, change diapers, and keep my house (at least a little) clean for visitors. alone. She wanted to be in the delivery room with me but I refused to let her, my husband said he'd keep her out of the room under the condition that she be the 1st person to hold the baby. by Susana Kuehne. Here are 6 common conflicts and solutions, including how you can say "no", how you can avoid alienating your in-laws and how you can be sure to stand up for yourself. ), although I still understand how a new mom might not be ok with doing that. Above all else, be patient with new parents. But by responding, you let your newborn know that you're always there. I worry that shell pick up a cold or virus, which I know is unlikely but I cant help it. Like she was afraid of all the Germs or something. TTC since June 2009 Exhausted, swollen, completely overwhelmed, and ecstatically happy, I spent the next few hours staring at her in awe alongside my husband, cooing over everything she did, and wondering how we had gotten so lucky. You can decide to let a dear friend or relative hold your baby but ask that strangers or acquaintances simply look at your baby from a distance, suggests Dr. Hasson. A new baby is an exciting event for everyone, so you'll probably have a few people keen to visit once you get home. Try not to let too many people handle your baby for too long, as he may get tired or become over-stimulated. Start by selecting which of these best describes you! . As recently as the 1970s, postpartum hospital stays averaged four days. Another smart strategy, says Dr. Ahmed, is to let someone hold your baby for just a few minutes, thereby limiting your baby's potential exposure. For others, it may take a bit longer. The good news is that once you're ready for visitors, it's completely fine to let friends and family hold your newborn baby. Your baby has a right to her own space too. Susan Adcox is a writer covering grandparenting and author of Stories From My Grandparent: An Heirloom Journal for Your Grandchild. Anyone who plans to visit a newborn should be immunized against pertussis, and, when in season, influenza, advises Dr. Alexander. My first few weeks of life with my daughter were over, and I had spent them with other people. Parents, on the other hand, may have a mixture of feelings about it. "Ideally, it. Most newborns feed every two to three hours, followed by a nap. So visits should not interfere with this routine to ensure that the baby has sufficient time for both. There should be no coughing or sneezing allowed near your child, let alone by the one doing the holding. Young children, especially older siblings and cousins will be excited by the arrival of a new baby and may insist on holding your newborn. Today, social media is everything. The parents may not want an audience as they get used to handling and changing their newborn. Add in a pandemic and people who may want to visit. Constance Marten and Mark Gordon were arrested on Monday . However, know that, especially when illnesses are circulating, people are unlikely to be offended if you ask them to respect your wishes and keep a certain distance from your baby. Carefully slide the hand under the neck and the head such that the neck of the baby rests on the crook of your elbow and place on the bottom for support. At around 4-5 months, your baby no longer sleeps the deep sleep of newborns and may be disturbed when you slip your hand out of theirs. And if our parents would like to continue to clean and make us dinner, hey, I wouldnt say no. around. Not supporting the small family of three and taking back any egoistic thoughts is just outrageous, if not . Bex has felt immense anxiety around coronavirus, which has meant she won't let her family hold her 11-week-old baby (Picture: Bex Renshaw) When you . What the mother and child need is peace. Sarah Vanbuskirk is a writer and editor with 20 years of experience covering parenting, health, wellness, lifestyle, and family-related topics. 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. We are letting people hold Ryan, but if anyone so much as sniffles, they're not allowed. Want to win a copy of psychotherapist Philippa Perrys new book, The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read? When the new parents are sleep-deprived and otherwise not at their best, the stage may be set for conflict. Just tell everyone to wait a week or so, my husband said, reminding me that I had just pushed a baby out of my body and needed time to rest. Let us know anonymouslyin our survey hereand well put it to the real-life experts: your fellow mums and dads. Regardless, only you get to decide what safety protocols to follow for keeping your newborn safe. Most newborns need eight to 12 feedings a day about one feeding every two to three hours. At no time do they replace the diagnosis, advice, or treatment . Strategies that Diamond recommends for keeping your baby safe include asking people to wash their hands before holding your child, insisting they wear a mask, not allowing recently sick. Am I being a bad parent by letting my five-year-old sleep in our bed. family before she was born that we would not be letting anyone hold her So whats the final tally? You also acknowledge that owing to the limited nature of communication possible on Some new parents think that they want to be alone with their baby, but change their minds when faced with the reality of caring for a newborn. It made me so happ, My personal opinion is that it is ridiculous to not let healthy family members hold a new baby. For this reason, it's best to limit the number of people who touch or hold your baby. Apparently, the author's mom and sister were less than happy with the prospect, and that's where the feud began. Ive also never felt the love that I feel for Sophia. Sometimes maternal grandparents have more access to a new baby than paternal grandparents, but it can be just the opposite. And of course, part of family bonding when a new baby is born is all about the cuddles; holding, touching and interacting with the baby in a normal and happy way. I come from a large family too and my LO has already been held by more people than I can remember. 6. Baby gate ideas help ! Your I was trying to do a million things at once: I started to wish that my husband and I had tried. That may mean reducing their exposure to people whose health status is unknown or anyone who seems unwell. 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