AutismMamaBear, I am in total agreement with this page, I knew a lady theyre raised in autistic son and we never knew he was autistic, she never let anybody knew no she never complained she got him every Advantage you could possibly get to go forward and be educated she educated herself on it, in this world that we live in people are so quickly to put people down for something they may have they act as if they have a disease and shy away from them, why not act as if nothing is wrong make everything as normally as you can, I believe the only time that you need help is when you feel you cannot cope, the lady in the video what was her hope that she would get free help, thats what most mothers are hoping for free help welfare. While I also have chronic pain, I cant fathom his. Esp for some lower functioning kids eg non verbal. Smh stop living in a pc fantasy world about true disabilities and stop trying to silence those that are raw and real about real life. Assume that your child is struggling, not intentionally misbehaving. Yes, she said some uncomfortable things but also more importantly said that all she wants is for her child to be HAPPY! She cries in her car, on video for hundreds of thousands of people to see, because her son is autistic and that makes her life hard. Do you have any experience with severe autism? No need to apologize for anything there .. This article is saying you shouldnt complain, vent etc. I was excluded for being different, rude annoying etc. If a child doesn't believe that you will respect verbal or alternative communication, they may act out due to the belief that it is the only way to be acknowledged. I pinky promise Ill explain what parents should do when feeling such big (and valid) feelings about autism and their child. So, all you parents who are reading this one: SPEAK UP ALWAYS!!! If your child continues misbehaving for attention, even after you ignore the bad behavior, calmly say "Screaming is not going to get you what you want. And EVEN IF WE COMPLAIN that does not mean we are not supporting them 24/7 because WE ARE. Apologize to the child once they're calm, and try to do better in the future. Susan recently postedOvercoming My Biggest Fear. She cries that her son wont be a doctor. Watching your child in the hospital restrained to a bed because they are severely ill, and have no idea why they need an IV or who the people (doctors and nurses). Now the next layer Would your spouse talk about you that way? It is especially important to avoid sugar at night, when it may disrupt your childs sleep. For people posting that High-Functioning Autistics are nothing like my kid- sometimes they are. They might one day, no one knows your autistic childs future. I know living with an autistic child is hard sometimes- if its hard all the time- to the extremes it is with you and your family its past time for help. No one elses. Remember he cherry picked the severely autistic to go die at the gas chamber and keep the HF autistic alive for research? Ideas for things we can do to instead of crying out to the world for help. This article is good that woman that posted that video deserves to be called out for her mistakes. You dont even know what youre talking about. Your autism is NOTHING like my sons. Now that Im dealing with the same, I am so glad she put his struggles out there, because she shared tools that greatly helped my son. Point is why are they never mentioned? Thats the shit that makes me cry at night, wondering if Im a horrible mother because i cant fid anyone anywhere who speaks truthfully about what its like to raise disabled children. Nasty woman. I know I am not easy, I know I am difficult. Now that we have that out of the way, lets get to the meat of it. I wish the term autism wasnt so broad. Just hold tight. And your children will, too, if you continue to publicly talk behind their backs and criticize them. You may need to repeat yourself or write things down. No matter what, our kids deserve dignity and respect, even in our worst moments. By signing up you are agreeing to receive emails according to our privacy policy. Spend some time in their world. Im really shocked at these replies youve gotten. I would not need to give up my life and my energy for their constant care and well being. But lets say that your son was neurotypical, had insomnia due to early childhood trauma, along with a complete inability to handle the extreme emotions that came with that. ALL PEOPLE COMPLAIN. Maybe Some of you people are fortunate enough to have an autistic kid that doesnt make yours and everyone around you difficult and at times just plain awful. I dont think theres a right or a wrong here. I was badly bullied and excluded, did not know the difference between someone coming to help me or bully me, and had meltdowns. Parents want their children to have easier lives than they did growing up. Good for you, you must be soooooo perfect! . The comments here make me so sad. Point istry to take it one day at a time. Autistic people may confuse I and you regularly, for example. Shaming others is always wrong. My son is severe ASD and I often need to talk or vent, and I absolutely detest autism, and the things autism does to my son and our family, but in no way does that mean I hate him. % of people told us that this article helped them. Make sure your child knows that you love them, autism and all. Again, this is the sort of thing that shouldnt happen with ANY child. Thanks a lot for such useful. We just saw a grandmother kill her twin autistic boys recently. We have to force water down just so that she doesnt get dehydrated and end up in the hospital. For the love. Look at yourselves. Because I fucking do,and its so depressing to read everyone always saying how great it is and you must be a bad mom if its not rain bows and perfect. And mean. agree, 100%. You still gunna tell me to shut my mouth and pretended thats not terrifying? Search the internet to see what substitutes autistic adults have found for their SIB. Loving your child is no guarantee that youre not abusing them. And she cries because if she dies before he does she doesnt believe anyone will go to her childs funeral. Since covid, there is no escape for her into a normal school environment. She is NOT complaining about her child. If the mother had the nerve to publish that content, she should deal with the consequences! I KNOW I was. She makes it SO MUCH HARDER for the world to accept my kids as they are. Several parents messaged me and said they were glad to know others were struggling. May I ask.do you parent a child with special needs? Critizing disgraceful, toxic content is not censorship. I get it. I saw that video too and my first thought was why is she taking him to this bloody Elmo thing anyway.He so obviously didnt want to be there. There is literally only so much time in each day. You have no idea what it is to live it. You must ignore her posts where she cheers on her children and shows her sons accomplishments since youre only talking about her being upset. No one elses. During self-injury, endorphins are released, which inhibit the individual from feeling much pain while making them feel happier. Life is hard. Take a seat. They help me see the world in full color! Sometimes youre struggling and you really just need to vent or youre going to explode. And its still okay for me to break down and have bad days too. She could have recorded the video and showed it to a close group of people who really and truly understand and are able to help. Yall need to start treating your severely Autistic children with basic human rights, privacy, and respect. We use cookies to make wikiHow great. She gets no sympathy from me. She shouldnt have posted a video about it, but you shouldnt be judging her. He is the sweetest boy in the world and I adore him. Weve had to replace the tv three times in the last two months because hes broken it. The first thing you need to do is accept that you are where you are and there is no blame, there is nothing you could of done differently because if you could have, you would have. Everyone has their right to privacy. Agreed I work in a school too and you can find yourself fighting to get the support required for the children you work with. One of the leading causes of death in Autistic people is suicide. And several of their parents complained about them not getting enough individual help/support. At least everyone else here has direct experience with autism (they have a child with autism or are on the spectrum themselves). Read her suggestions again. The mother making the video had every right to vent and talk it out. The girls he wants to flirt with. This is the most ass backwards post Ive ever read. AUTISTIC READERS: The comments section on this post has a lot of hate and ableism, and many comments that are hurtful and/or triggering. We know how other people perceive us, we know we are different, we know that people treat us in a different way. When you say that you dont think your child will have any friends ever, youre telling the world that autism makes someone un-loveable. Take yourself out for a Starbucks coffee to clear your head. Yes, vent, complain etc but not on the internet to strangers. Autism is suddenly a disqualifier to be a mommy blogger or vlogger? You are the problem They need help not shame. Complain out of earshot of your kid who has no way aboiding this on his own. The fact that there are support groups to share experiences and vent is exactly what the author points out. You want to be a better person? Support groups are for support. My son just turned three in January, he has SPD, possible ADHD, and is being re-evaluated for ASD. People like you should be shamed mostly. i can 't handle my autistic child anymorepower automate do until apply to each. He screams most of the time hes awake. If your child doesnt have an intellectual disability, they can understand EVERYTHING you say! But it is wrong to disparage those of us who are not so fortunate, we have very real concerns about the growing epidemic of autismYES it is an epidemic even the CDC admits it is NOT just better diagnosis. I dont agree. I follow her page, I found that video as I was myself coming to terms with this whole forever scenario, I felt soooo alone, I needed her video. If youre not in that persons shoes, dont assume you understand their life and what they are going through. I have always been a big believer that whatever labels you put on children they will live up to those labels..or rarely, will overcome those labels. Amazing that this seems to have been missed. Older autistic children may enjoy setting up their toys in scenes. Would you prefer they tell a family-member and have it get back to their kid one day? Solitude. I feel really bad for him, youre disgusting. If you did, you wouldnt suggest going to lunch or Starbucks or therapy or on a date. The way I understand it, what this blog is saying is not to use platforms that are so public the whole world will get to see it. So did my husband. Theres a video circulating on Facebook with a mother in tears. Mediocre gene pool, probably. Wow way to shove it down someones throat. If youre making excuse for an Autism Parent that clearly hates their child, then youre a crap excuse for a human being. And its shorter for Autistic with intellectual disabilities. Researchers also believe that biochemicals play a role. My daughter has a fragile bone disorder and were desperate to keep him away from her so that he doesnt break her bones. Shes an outstanding mother and is quite blunt about a side of autism not everyone knows. Parents are often careful about what they share online about their children, but for whatever reason, that line of privacy goes out the window when their child is disabled. Were not allowed to be ourselves because we embarrass YOU. So your child isnt going to be a football star or a cheerleader. Pointing out to an adult what they are doing is harmful is different than unintentionally harming your child repeatedly. 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